My father has a lizard named Igor. He's an iguana. We used to think he was a female, and so we called him Liz Walker for a while, but when the vet said he is in fact a male he assumed his present name - Igor Lazzard.
He lives in the trees in our den, but being a sun worshipper, he sometimes wanders up onto our balcony to lounge by the window. When the seasons change, like from summer to autumn, he gets quite upset and occasionally runs around the house looking for warm places. He'd rather not stay in his cage when it's light out. We sometimes find him on electronic equipment - for instance, the fax machine or the PC - but I think he'd rather wait for the sun. He checks the window periodically to see if it's any warmer.
It was my brother who bought Igor, but my dad took to him right away. He sometimes lets Igor sit on his knee when he watches television. Igor likes this a lot. My father will occasionally show off by singing to his little green friend to the tune of Peg of My Heart. He can improvise indefinitely. Igor generally eats lettuce, about a head every few days, but my father takes pride in peeling cantaloupes for him as a treat, and admires his sloppy habits as he eats strawberries in season. When Igor eats cantaloupe, his skin takes on an orange tinge, and when he has strawberries, the juice drips down his chin and he looks like a tryout for Jurassic Park. In the summer, he tries to catch flies. All day, he sits on the ledge next to the hibiscus plant with his mouth open. His bright pink tongue blends right in. Eventually a fly lands in his mouth and he snaps down his jaw like a mousetrap. There's his protein for the year. To figure out who's junk mail list we're on, Igor Lazzard is listed on some magazine subscriptions as the director of marketing for my dad's company, Harvard Toolworks, Inc. He gets mail quite often, and sometimes even Fedex packages. I remember once Fedex came to the door and asked for him. I had to answer them truthfully, so I said, "I'm sorry, he's visiting another branch today." I signed for the package.
Another time someone called and asked to speak with Mr. Lazzard. When we asked what it was about, he said, "Oh, he'll know me. We've spoken before." Once some recruiters doing a job search for Microsoft called and asked for Igor. They said it was a personal. My dad took the call, as Igor. The recruiters had heard about Igor and wanted to know if he wanted a marketing job on the west coast. It seems Igor has a very good reputation in the biz, and they had high expectations for him at Microsoft.
After the call we all laughed, but then the more we thought about it, it made sense. Igor's kind of laid back and he's a vegetarian. He'd fit in pretty well with the West Coast lifestyle. Igor's cold blooded, so he wouldn't have much problem with even the most ruthless marketing tactics. He's even a double minority - he can't speak and he's green. He probably would have a pretty good career path at Microsoft. Who knows, maybe he could someday get to be number two lizard, after Bill Gates.